Self-Sabotage   

November 18, 2011 | Comments

I actually enjoy cleaning. Ok, not the actual act of scrubbing grime out of the sink, but I do love the results. And cleaning helps clear my mind, as if the simple act of bringing order from chaos in my physical home helps bring order to the chaos of my mind and emotions as well.

Which brings up an interesting point: Do I subconsciously allow the house to get to this level of messiness simply because I like the relief and the rush I get when it finally gets clean?

Many Hands and Lots of Rewards   

November 18, 2011 | Comments

You know the old saying, “Many hands make light work.” Yeah….whoever said that didn’t have kids!

Life has gotten out of control again, and I’ve realized that the only time I stop and really think about household management and organization is when it’s not working. And maybe that’s as it should be. I crave organization when it’s missing. Lately, I’ve been on overload launching my new business, Take A Break Vacations. It’s time to regroup (again!) and get back to a baseline because if I can’t find the counters, I can’t cook dinner!

The fact is, we just don’t have that much time to clean up and reorganize before the next week starts and sweeps us along, so I’ve recruited (drafted?) the rest of the family to help. Two things should make this cleaning weekend work:

• First, I’ve spelled out exactly what needs to be done in each room. There should be no room for “I think it’s done” or “I didn’t know I had to do that.”
• Second, I’ve lavished on the rewards. If all goes well, Saturday night will be board game night in our newly shiny clean home and Sunday afternoon the kids will get unlimited video game time – a major treat since we usually limit flickering screen time.

Which brings up another point: what’s my reward for all this? What do I get to look forward to while scrubbing the grime out from behind the kitchen faucet (aside from the obvious – a clean, organized house)? I’m going to have to think about that. Any suggestions?

How David Met Sarah – a very special love story   

November 1, 2011 | Comments

I haven’t written a lot of romantic fiction lately, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a good old fashioned boy-meets-girl love story. When an old acquaintance from Momwriters approached me and asked if I’d be interested in reviewing How David Met Sarah, I said “sure – what’s it about?” I’m always up for a good read, and I’d been wanting to get pack to posting here anyway.

Then she told me: “it’s about a man with Down Syndrome who meets the girl of his dreams – a woman with autism.”

“How’s that going to work?” I thought. Two people, both with severe developmental delays, falling in love? That’s going to be complicated. What I wasn’t prepared for was how ordinary this story would be – it reminded me how alike we are, deep down inside, despite our differences.

David is a creature of habit. He eats his breakfast every day in the neighborhood diner, because he loves the people he sees there. And then one morning, his routine is knocked upside down when he sees a beautiful girl with long red hair eating with her mother. And like any other young man, he spends the next several weeks in a fog trying to figure out how to meet her, how to impress her, and how to have a relationship with her.

This love story is beautiful because it’s ordinary. It reminded me how similar my developmentally delayed kids are to “typical” kids – they have the same emotions, the same drive to experience life, just on a slightly different schedule.

Like David, Sarah is developmentally delayed. She has autism and does not speak. When David learns of her limitations, he resolves to learn sign language so he can communicate with her. I’ve seen this so many times with special needs kids – they recognize when they meet someone else like them, and simply shrug off the accommodations they must make to bridge the gaps between them.

I’m glad to have spent an hour reading this story, and I’ll save it for the next few years until my sons are older and start thinking about girls. How David Met Sarah is a wonderful story of courtship, written for and about two people who don’t quite fit with the rest of the world. This book may just help them understand the emotions they’ll experience.

How David Met Sarah is available as an eBook from Amazon.com. A print version is expected soon. 20% of the profits from this book will be donated to the National Down Syndrome Society, an organization that supports developmentally delayed adults.

Raisons d’etre   

October 31, 2011 | Comments

Life is seasonal. This season has been a doozy! I keep waiting for a nice calm year, but it never seems to happen. Lately, the ideas have been flying, and I realized recently that I need to step back and come up with my core goals, my raison d’etre, in order to better evaluate opportunities and projects.

For me, it’s not that easy. I don’t have just one thing that I do, and do well. I do a lot of things, and they’re all important to me. I kind of envy those people who seem to have a single professional or life goal – they seem to have things so under control! I, on the other hand, flow where life takes me and I can’t imagine cutting writing or baking or travel out of my life simply because I’ve committed to homeschooling!

I’ve read A Mother’s Rule of Life many times, and it’s probably the only household management book I’ve ever found that spoke to me on such a deep level. I’m beginning to re-read and re-work through the 5 “P’s” once again. I know my priorities are out of whack because I’m constantly dealing with a sense of stress and barely-contained panic.

Before I can do that though, I have to work out my essentials – what are the things that simply must be present in my life in order for me to feel ok? For me, my raisons d’etre are:

• Peace in our home
• Progress in our homeschool
• Professional success
• A Piece of Quiet

The Homeschool Classroom Revisited   

August 16, 2011 | 1 Comment

You saw the chaos that was our classroom-turned-playroom. Today I’d like to share the “after” pictures! It took two adults about four hours to tidy, clean (there is a difference!) and reorganize. It’s not perfect, but nothing ever is. In the next couple of weeks, I’ll do something about those bare walls and add a couple of small rugs to help define the spaces better.

You’ll notice we went from three desks to four – our little Princess officially joins homeschool this year! She’s starting preschool, which we do formally at 3. I know, a lot of homeschoolers disagree with that and argue that formal schooling shouldn’t begin until first grade, but we do what works for our family. For us, formal schooling (with plenty of fun – learning, formal or not, SHOULD be fun!) works.

Preparing to Homeschool: The Classroom   

August 12, 2011 | 2 Comments

Not every homeschooling family uses a dedicated classroom. Many families educate their children at the kitchen table, or all over the house. Our family works best with a classroom, which allows us to keep the homeschool chaos contained and let’s us “go home” after school. That sense of completion is important for us. I claimed our finished basement for school.

When we take a break from school, the classroom becomes the play room – which makes sense, most of the kids’ favorite toys and activities are at least somewhat educational and enriching, so they belong in the classroom. Unfortunately, when 4 kids play, the room descends into chaos all too quickly!

We’re starting school on Monday, so today’s project is resurrecting the classroom. You’ve seen what we’re starting with. Stay tuned – later today I’ll post the After pictures and take you on a guided tour!

Special Needs Homeschool Planner Review   

August 9, 2011 | Comments

Homeschool planning, like everything else around here, is a little complicated. With four homeschooling kids, two with special needs, and one and a half parent teachers (DH teaches certain subjects, but I do most of the planning.), I’ve yet to find a planner that adequately meets our needs. Most of the time I end up modifying or kludging something together. Not the best situation, because without careful planning and organization, chaos descends on this house faster than a swarm of locusts!

I recently checked out the Special Needs Homeschool Planner from This Old Schoolhouse. The great thing about the Special Needs Homeschool Planner is that it’s entirely electronic, so you can print only the forms you need for your family. The articles at the beginning of the planner are a great reminder of why we do this homeschooling thing. None of them offered any new, Earth-shattering information for me but I can see how they would be essential to a new homeschooling family. They did offer good reminders of things I knew but had forgotten, especially “Homeschooling Special Needs Children in a Large Family” and “Focus on Your Child’s Strengths.”

The real difference in the Special Needs Homeschool Planner are the IEP forms. As a homeschooling parent, I’ll admit, I have been known to zone out during IEP discussions with other special needs parents. That’s a school bureaucracy thing, designed to give our kids the bare minimum services they need to survive in the system, right? I hadn’t really thought of going through the IEP process at home – why should I? But filling out the IEP planning forms forced me to slow down and really consider each child’s individual strengths and weaknesses. I spelled out my goals for each child in each of three areas: academics, social skills, and life skills. What an eye opener! After letting those goal sheets sit for a few days, I went back and filled out the objective sheets. Those forms required me to think beyond “Will needs to learn to spell” to “How am I going to teach Will to spell?” An important distinction!

I’ll also be using the weekly food diary and therapy schedule to help me keep on track with our sensory diet activities and Feingold diet. Sensory diet activities are, unfortunately, something I often let slide until the kids are out of control. I’m hoping this form will help me incorporate a variety of sensory activities into our normal daily and weekly schedule.

I’ve printed out several of the Task Analysis pages as well. With a very independent three year old and three boys, the hand washing analysis is a great tool! I’ve laminated the cards and posted them in each bathroom, just above the sink. I was disappointed in the Bathroom Routine Task Analysis. I understand the reluctance to get into too much detail when it comes to bathroom issues, but the steps go from “Shut the door” directly to “Sit on the toilet.” My very literal kids are going to do just that – and skip pulling down their pants and underwear. The Shower Routine Task Analysis is much more thorough.

The Special Needs Homeschool Planner includes a wide variety of forms designed around the special needs family, including medical forms, therapy forms, and even forms to keep track of vet records for a service animal! The regular Homeschool Planner contains more generic forms that are useful to any homeschooling family. The best solution for us is really a hybrid of both planners.

The electronic version of the Special Needs Homeschool Planner sells for $29. You can get a copy on CD for $34.

Master Packing List   

July 15, 2011 | 1 Comment

 

Mind Mapping   

July 14, 2011 | Comments

Yesterday, I reached out to my Goals Group for help. I just can’t seem to get my brain in gear, and I know that I’m starting to stray closer to the cliff that is depression. Part of the problem is unrealistic expectations. I thought that I’d be able to seamlessly step back into my old routines soon after we brought Patrick home from the hospital. That hasn’t happened. Instead, I’m sitting here paralyzed and nothing’s getting done.

A very wise writer and friend reminded me that sometimes, you have to get the ideas out of your head and onto paper where you can deal with them. She suggested a mind-mapping technique that I’ve used before with some success. Today I’ll be working on that, since for once we don’t have any appointments. And since one of our homeschooling goals for our oldest is study skills, I think it will become an impromptu lesson as well. Gotta love teaching moments!

In fact, one of the things that’s driving me crazy is the house. So maybe the boys and I will do a joint mind-map on that today. I want them to grow up understanding what goes into making a household run smoothly so they won’t be completely lost when they leave home in 10 years.

Coming Home Again   

July 13, 2011 | Comments

It’s been a long time since I’ve written here. Sometimes a writer has to go and live before she can write about life. Lately though, this blog – my first! – has been calling me back. It’s time to take a step back and make sense of it all.

It’s mid-July, and that means it’s homeschool planning time. After three years, I finally have our curriculum more or less set – although I’m still looking for a decent P.E. guide! My big challenge this year will be scheduling. Our little one, our baby girl, will start preschool this Fall! I’m excited to start this journey with her. The boys will be in 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. Exciting times, with plenty of challenges.

I’m reading through the Special Needs Homeschool Planner published by This Old Schoolhouse, which I will be reviewing later this month. I’ve also gotten the go-ahead to give away a copy to celebrate my homecoming to Living at the Speed of Life! Stay tuned for details

We’ll also be trying a modified workboxes system. We’ve done this before, with checklist schooling. Workboxes will simply be a more organized, structured implementation. With DD in preschool and DS3 still needing a lot of individual attention, all of the kids will need to work a little more independently if we’re going to get through our schoolwork before bedtime. Have you used workboxes in your homeschool? Any advice for implementing them effectively with 4 Special kids?

At the same time, it’s also time to hit the reset button on the household. Again. This has been a crazy summer so far – DS3 spent the entire month of June in the hospital, and for the past couple of weeks our lives have revolved around doctor visits, medications, and his insanely low-fat diet. That will be with us for a while, so I need to incorporate it into our routines. Living without a plan just doesn’t work.

I hope you’ll join me on this journey of organization and sanity! And by all means, please share your advice on homeschool, household management, and general life skills.